Lilly Stairs Spills the Tea on Building the "Chronic Boss Collective"

[00:00:00] Welcome to the HIT With Grace Podcast, where we spill the tea on HIT. I'm honored to

[00:00:10] welcome Lily Stairs, founder at Chronic Foss Collective and Patient Authentic.

[00:00:14] Lily, thanks for joining me! Grace, thank you so much for having me, so good to be here

[00:00:19] with the fellow Bostonian. I couldn't even believe it, so Lily and I have been trying

[00:00:24] to get together. We're basically neighbors for a while, so we thought why not do a podcast

[00:00:29] right? So you are just hanging out with us today, ladies, and just sit back and enjoy

[00:00:34] the ride. Lily, tell us a little bit about the journey that brought you to founding Chronic

[00:00:39] Boss Collective. I would love to hear about it.

[00:00:41] Yeah, so it really all started in a hospital bed. I had just been diagnosed with Crohn's

[00:00:47] disease and psoriatic arthritis within about a six-month span. It was 19. I remember pulling

[00:00:53] out my laptop to Google the conditions and the term autoimmune came up. And I never

[00:00:59] heard the term in my life, and I was really angry because there are over 50 million

[00:01:06] Americans who are living with an autoimmune condition, but there's such little awareness

[00:01:11] for it, and research and funding and all of the things. And so I didn't really know

[00:01:16] what a patient advocate was at that time, but I truly in that moment became one. And from

[00:01:23] then on, I've spent over a decade now working across the healthcare ecosystem in the

[00:01:28] patient advocacy space. In 2020, I founded Patient Authentic, my first business, which

[00:01:34] is a consult, a boutique consultancy we partner with pharmaceutical companies to build programming

[00:01:40] and events that empower and educate patient advocates. And then, you know, a few years

[00:01:47] later in 2023, I'm still running patient authentic, still running it to this day. But there

[00:01:53] had been something on my heart for a long time. And that was that I was meeting all of these

[00:02:01] really remarkable women through my work, because I would wear my conditions on my sleeve,

[00:02:07] they would approach me and say, hey, I'm also living with an autoimmune condition or

[00:02:11] I have depression or I have cancer. But they're doing all of these amazing things and they're

[00:02:16] totally rocking it in their careers. And they are these resilient, ambitious and women who

[00:02:23] care, who give back. And so I just thought, what if we could get all of these women in a room

[00:02:30] together? How powerful that would be? And I have tears and I'm my eyes right now about this.

[00:02:36] Like how powerful could it be? Oh, tell me more about it. Oh, yeah. So you know, you think

[00:02:42] about that the support groups exist, right? And I've never there is a total purpose for them.

[00:02:49] And they are very important. They play an important role in patient communities. For me, it was

[00:02:55] not something that I jived with because I've always been an ambitious businesswoman. I'm a mover

[00:02:59] and a shaker. And I said, I'm living with these conditions and I am going to have a big career.

[00:03:07] And so I love these on the other side. I love women's networking groups. I'm a part of a number

[00:03:12] of them in the Boston area. And I thought, why can't I combine these two concepts? And that's really

[00:03:17] how the chronic boss collective was born and we serve as a space for ambitious business women

[00:03:24] with chronic conditions to really dream big in their careers while prioritizing their health.

[00:03:28] I love this. This is so critical. I was actually misdiagnosed with an autoimmune disease.

[00:03:34] And I had that moment happen where I was like, I don't know what's going on. I did join a chronic

[00:03:39] condition support group. And it was very much like, okay, this sickness defines me now. And I like

[00:03:45] that you're kind of taking this and they was helpful to have others that were experiencing the same

[00:03:49] symptoms and talk through things and work through the pain management and every, you know, all

[00:03:55] that comes with it and get some advice. But you're right. It's not like, okay, now not only is this

[00:04:01] like something that's happening with you, but it's your superpower. So tell me about like flipping

[00:04:07] the script on what it means to live with a chronic condition and be ambitious and wonderful and

[00:04:12] supporting others in their ambitions during this process. Can you share some, you know, personal insights

[00:04:17] and how the mindset shift impacted your life and inspired others too? Yeah. Yes. I'm so big on this

[00:04:24] concept of flipping the script on what it means to live with a chronic condition because we often think

[00:04:29] when we are diagnosed that it's a weakness and society tells us it's a weakness. That's the

[00:04:35] automatic response, but actually there's a lot that our chronic conditions give us. A lot of

[00:04:42] traits that we learn and we grow from. So resilience adaptability, relatability. And so I would always

[00:04:51] from the time that I was an intern all the way up until I started my own company, I would disclose

[00:04:57] and job interviews. I would come right out and say it, I was owning the narrative and I framed it

[00:05:02] in a way that worked for me. So I would say yes, I'm living with these autoimmune conditions

[00:05:08] and what makes me really a great bit for this role is because I am able to and I should give

[00:05:16] the context here that I worked in life science communications and advocacy previously. So I was

[00:05:21] able to talk about how I can authentically connect with the patient community because I have

[00:05:26] these lived experiences. And so that's going to make me a really strong fit for the position.

[00:05:32] And so another example I like to give, if you're not somebody who's working in

[00:05:36] the life sciences, patient advocacy space because there's a clear parallel there, right? A lot of us

[00:05:41] living with chronic conditions we learn adaptability. You never know where in the other shoes going to drop.

[00:05:46] That's an incredible asset to a small nonprofit or to a startup where things are changing by the day

[00:05:52] and you have to wear a lot of different hats and you never know what's going to happen. And so

[00:05:56] that's a place where you can kind of come in and say, hey yeah I've actually learned adaptability

[00:06:01] through living with a chronic condition and here's how it applies to my work with you and how I

[00:06:05] could really make an impact. So interesting. What other stigma and stereotypes do you find that

[00:06:11] collectively the folks that are in the chronic boss collective are experiencing in the workplace?

[00:06:17] Yeah, it's been really interesting to hear everybody's different experiences. So

[00:06:23] it depends, you know I think a lot of folks are it is when people find out about it,

[00:06:28] sometimes they're like, oh gosh, they don't know how to handle it, right? They don't always

[00:06:31] don't want to handle when somebody's living with a chronic condition and so

[00:06:36] and there's not always the right accommodations being made. But we encourage people to really

[00:06:42] fight for what they deserve as a person living with a chronic condition and to understand

[00:06:47] what are your non-negotiables, what are your boundaries, what are your needs

[00:06:51] and communicating that and finding a middle ground in a way that works for you in a way that works

[00:06:56] for the company. It makes sense because it does seem like there may be certain things that you

[00:07:01] have to do to navigate professional spaces generally in addition to the types of work. What are some

[00:07:05] of the typical pieces of advice you give folks when they say like how do I even start

[00:07:11] like this conversation with my work or with my place that I'm going to work about this?

[00:07:16] Yeah, so it depends on your approach, right? If you are somebody who wants to come out and own

[00:07:21] the narrative that's always what I suggest just because then you get to frame how everything looks

[00:07:27] and you can frame it in that positive light. Not everybody's comfortable with that and that's okay.

[00:07:33] And so there are other ways to have more delicate conversations around it, maybe more private

[00:07:37] conversations with HR. The big thing that I do I do encourage the biggest piece of advice is

[00:07:43] figure out what are your top needs. So if you're a person who you have brain fog in the morning,

[00:07:49] you're not somebody who performs well in the morning, maybe don't work for a company that wants you

[00:07:55] sitting at a desk at 9 a.m., and you know, you're there until 5 or 6 or 7 p.m. work for a company that

[00:08:02] values the outcome versus the time put in and their flex long time. If you're immunocompromised,

[00:08:08] you don't want to be exposed to germs, you prefer to work remote looking for a remote option. So

[00:08:13] figuring out how does your chronic condition impact how you work and then being able to articulate

[00:08:19] that to the company, understanding that it is these are businesses right. They do have to be able

[00:08:25] to have outcomes and to make money and to do all of those things. And so how do you fit into that?

[00:08:32] How can you contribute but just sharing on your own terms and having open conversations about that?

[00:08:37] Really, really interesting. So you know, you talk about how the chronic

[00:08:40] boss collective is, you know, it's a unique offering that hasn't existed before. Can you share a little

[00:08:45] bit about the platform that you do offer and how you connect people together and how it kind of

[00:08:51] gets through some of that BS and bosters deeper connection? Yeah, yeah. So we are the first and only

[00:08:57] international network for ambitious business women living with chronic conditions. Nothing

[00:09:02] like this exists currently. We have, we sit at three pillars. So professional development,

[00:09:10] wellness and connection. We offer a series of events around each of these topics every month

[00:09:17] and we do, we do a mastermind. We do some of our, what we call boss boosts or professional

[00:09:22] development. So we've done building your brand and how to negotiate your salary for wellness.

[00:09:29] We do, we're going to do face masks with Indie Lee, which is Indie Lee as one of our members

[00:09:33] and she's amazing. She runs a clean clean beauty line. And so everybody's going to get some like

[00:09:37] face masks. We're going to do that mindful meditation. So those are some of the different types of

[00:09:42] events. What though is really special, I think about the collective is the networking and connection

[00:09:48] piece because when you think about networking, hi on and it's so important. I always say your

[00:09:54] network is your network. It's my network is the reason I am where I am in my career. And I imagine

[00:09:58] that's the case for you two grace you have an all girl. You know, you know, you have the best

[00:10:05] network. And so it's huge, but I actually truthfully sometimes get really bored by networking

[00:10:11] because so much of it is surface level. So if you go to an event and you're looking at a name

[00:10:15] badge and it's like a name title and Mike, you don't really talk, talk beyond that to a person.

[00:10:20] We just cut through all that BS in the collective because everybody is collecting,

[00:10:26] connecting at a point of vulnerability. And when you connect at a point of mutual vulnerability,

[00:10:32] that you're going deep quick in that expedites trust and builds, builds trust. Trust is the foundation

[00:10:40] of a strong relationship. And we know that strong relationships drive positive business outcomes.

[00:10:48] And so that's what's happening in the collective is that these women are connecting at this point

[00:10:53] of vulnerability. They're building trust and they're building relationships and they are giving

[00:10:58] each other business. We've, we've, it's been about three months that the collective has officially

[00:11:02] been up and running. And we have already seen several members who are giving each other

[00:11:06] business. They're teaming up to work on projects together. And they are saying that being a part of

[00:11:12] this group has been life giving and life changing for them both in their health and in their

[00:11:18] business. It's about more than just connecting over work. It's about connecting over what's

[00:11:24] impacting you as a human and in your whole life and sharing that experience with others who

[00:11:29] are experiencing that too. And saying, enough's enough. We're going to tear this pain into purpose.

[00:11:35] And let's go right and let's go rest raise arms, right? Do you have any on specific examples of

[00:11:42] you know, partnerships or things that have happened because of the collective that you're like,

[00:11:46] oh, I just love that that happened or I just love that that person met that person. And I can't

[00:11:51] believe we inspired that. Yeah. Oh my gosh, so many. And I keep hearing about new ones every day.

[00:11:58] So I know that we had one of our members who's all the way in DC. She hired one of our members

[00:12:04] in Boston to style her for Rare Disease Week, which was awesome. She, yeah, one of our members

[00:12:08] in stylist. So they teamed up for that. And then we have two members who are working on their

[00:12:14] teaming up to develop a mental health resource guide for one of them is a therapist and one of

[00:12:19] them works to do permanent permanent makeup. And so they were, they got to talking about how

[00:12:25] when you go to your hairdresser or your nail tech or your permanent makeup artist,

[00:12:31] it often ends up can be like a therapy session and people will unload. And so how do you give those

[00:12:36] people who are providing those services tools to protect their own mental health and then to be

[00:12:41] able to support others? So they're teaming up to develop that, which is really amazing. So so many,

[00:12:46] we have another person who's hired one member is starting a business and was looking for support

[00:12:52] in branding. And so we have, you know, she hired one of our branding experts and graphic designers

[00:12:57] to be pulling together brand for her. So it's just been, I love that it's cross industry because

[00:13:03] really what's bringing people together is the thing that's holding them that others think should

[00:13:08] hold them back or they know that it's one of their superpowers but others feel it should be. And

[00:13:13] yet they're from all over, from all over the world in any industry. And that's kind of

[00:13:18] interesting is that cross industry collaboration. Like what has kind of been your feelings seeing

[00:13:25] that? Like you kind of expect maybe healthcare people work in but like, you know, seeing how many

[00:13:30] different types of people are coming in must be interesting to you. So so interesting. And I love

[00:13:35] because I've been so in healthcare personally for so long that it's fascinating for me to be learning

[00:13:40] from others. And there's so much we can learn from other people in different industries.

[00:13:44] I'm actually always saying within healthcare, we need to be looking to other industries or

[00:13:49] nice on how we on how we work with patients. How we work with patients, how we how we deliver

[00:13:54] services. And so I there's so much of that happening and when we were doing skill sharing,

[00:14:00] people are learning so much we've got somebody who works in wealth management and is going to be able

[00:14:06] to think everybody about we have a boss boost coming up on, you know, how do you how to manage

[00:14:10] your finances and how to build wealth. I mean it's so interesting. And yes, to your point,

[00:14:15] it is international. We have members in Australia in the UK and Canada. It's been interesting to

[00:14:21] also see those perspectives and you know what it looks like, what living with a chronic condition

[00:14:26] and working looks like in some of those areas. And so I think there's been able to there's been a nice

[00:14:31] exchange of tips and tricks because of that as well. Oh, I love it. I'm obsessed with this and

[00:14:37] I'm obsessed with you. You're amazing. Lully, thank you for coming. I got you grace. Awesome.

[00:14:42] So you know what are your aspirations for the future of chronic boss collective? You know,

[00:14:47] and how do you envision it continuing to evolve and make a positive impact that you're making even

[00:14:53] now? Yeah. So I have really, really, really big aspirations to scale this up big as you should

[00:15:00] as you should there's such a huge opportunity here. There are so many of us. So 60%

[00:15:10] of people in the US alone are living with one or more chronic conditions and I don't even think

[00:15:15] that includes I'm not 100% sure but I don't think that includes mental health and we're inclusive

[00:15:20] when I say chronic conditions a lot of people think something physical like an autoimmune condition

[00:15:25] but we are inclusive of mental health because mental health is a chronic condition. It's something

[00:15:30] that you live with every day that impacts the way you show up to work. It is chronic ADHD neurodivergence.

[00:15:36] Cancer cancer is now in many cases a chronic condition as you know and so there's just we have a

[00:15:43] really broad range. There's a lot of us and like I said, it takes a really special type of person

[00:15:49] who is living with a chronic condition and chooses ambition and these are people who are giving back.

[00:15:56] They are they want to make an impact and and see change in the world and so there's a lot of us.

[00:16:03] So I can't wait to scale it up big. So there and there's going to be different arms right we have

[00:16:06] our membership. We already have a scholarship as well. The scholarship is for young women in high

[00:16:12] school and college. It's called the chronic bus scholarship. I actually started that before I started

[00:16:17] the collective. We've awarded over $30,000 to 30 young women who are living with a chronic

[00:16:25] condition and have an entrepreneurial spirit so they've started something we've got you know published

[00:16:30] at the time when she won the scholarship she was 17 she had three published books

[00:16:34] living with will living with graves disease. That's amazing. Amazing. So there's a lot of different ways

[00:16:40] that we can we can build this up and I can't wait to to make it happen. I love it. I love it. Thank

[00:16:47] you so much for sharing it with us and we can't wait to cheer you on and keep sharing all the great

[00:16:53] great successes that you continue to make with it. So you know we want to also understand

[00:16:58] you as a person. We love to talk shop and but we also part as part of this community want to learn

[00:17:04] from you as a leader and things that you do to like work your best and make a difference. So

[00:17:09] you know living with a chronic condition like what are habits that you have done or diets or

[00:17:15] anything that has really helped boost your ability to work your best at the top of your game.

[00:17:21] Yeah it's a great question and it's probably changed over the years. I'm so big on number one

[00:17:28] sleep. I do not compromise my sleep. It is seven to eight hours every night that is so important.

[00:17:35] I also I think my biggest one right now and this has been really hard for me and if I'm being

[00:17:40] honest I'm still learning how to do it every day. It is setting boundaries and saying no. I am

[00:17:48] not good at saying no. I'm a huge people pleaser and what's happened is that because of

[00:17:55] we're building this really big community and it's so exciting. I constantly feel like I have

[00:18:00] people coming at me from Instagram DMs, LinkedIn DMs are our own private community and it's

[00:18:06] it actually has thrown me into a state of overwhelm. And so I've been trying to learn and I'm just

[00:18:11] being very vulnerable and honest here. I've been trying to learn okay what are the things that I

[00:18:16] absolutely need absolutely need to do to drive the business forward? And where do I need to start

[00:18:21] saying no's that I can protect my health and my energy and and I think that's important. I think

[00:18:26] as women it's something a lot of us struggle to do. It's so true. I mean can I just pick your brain

[00:18:31] on this? Can I just pick your brain on that? Like give me your time for free and the time itself

[00:18:36] costs so much you know when you're trying to build something and so you know really protecting

[00:18:41] that is so critical and people don't realize it's like if in the start of your career you want to say

[00:18:45] yes to everything right just like throw everything against the wall and see what kids you know sticks

[00:18:50] and then at some point you used to say okay well what can I do to help just others like succeed while

[00:18:56] also protecting my strength and what I what I can actually do in the amount of hours that I have in

[00:19:01] the day. Yes I know but you just had resonates so much with me because I feel like there are a lot

[00:19:07] are a lot of folks who will reach out and say can I pick your brain? And to all those people is

[00:19:11] I I know you're coming from a great place right I know that you you want to learn and I'm honored

[00:19:16] that you want it you want to chat with me but I think what people don't always realize is that when

[00:19:20] you're constantly getting those messages 15 20 30 minutes adds up when you have a lot of people

[00:19:25] who are reaching out and so you do have to be sensitive to that and make sure and if because

[00:19:29] if I just took all of those calls for every person who reached out to me I would not be able to drive

[00:19:35] my business forward I wouldn't have the time. Absolutely absolutely couldn't agree more I think

[00:19:40] you know I experience the same and so many women women leaders I know say the same thing it's

[00:19:45] there's only so many hours in the day. You know kind of diving even deeper what are strategies you've

[00:19:50] put in your life that have helped you overcome the hard stuff you know we all get hit hard by life

[00:19:57] and whether it's health which is just it's so hard to work on everything else when you're dealing

[00:20:03] with your health right and whatever it is you know mental health families dying people dying around

[00:20:09] you and it's it's hard life is hard so what are things that you do to kind of help keep your resilience up?

[00:20:15] Yeah another great question and it's been it's very timely because I have been really in a sprint

[00:20:23] the past couple months and it's put a drain on me and so I've had to had to activate some of these tools

[00:20:29] one is therapy I love therapy it's so important it's been so amazing for me and helping me build

[00:20:36] some of those tools and mindset and adaptability to be able to manage some of the challenges that

[00:20:44] come my way I also love reading I just pulled out some of my books that have inspiration young

[00:20:50] young play below he he has some great inward and clarity and connection I like reading some of his

[00:20:55] prose because sometimes it just comes up and it resonates and one of them was actually recently

[00:20:59] I opened the book and I won't be able to say it word for word but essentially it was saying that

[00:21:06] we have in this modern society we have messages coming out since text messages emails all the time

[00:21:14] and humans aren't designed to respond right away to that we were we're sort of overstimulated now

[00:21:20] and so giving people grace to give them some response site we're not machines giving and giving

[00:21:26] yourself grace that you don't need to always respond to everything right away so look at therapy

[00:21:31] prose and then also my network you know my people my people who I can lean on and I can

[00:21:36] vent to my close family and friends have been an amazing support I love that I love that

[00:21:43] and I last question on this if you could give your younger self a piece of advice whether it be

[00:21:49] personal or professional what would it be oh my gosh that's a big question I think that

[00:21:57] in keeping with the theme of what we've just been talking about because I'm sure there are a

[00:22:02] million different pieces of advice that I would give my younger self but I would say block out the

[00:22:08] noise stay laser focused on your vision and trust your gut because your gut is right you know where

[00:22:14] you want to go let that be your your north star so inspiring I know a lot of you are listening

[00:22:21] in like yes girl yes I take that and that is my mantra now so I love it so to finish off the

[00:22:27] conversation right you know where can our listeners find you online and connect with chronic

[00:22:32] bus collective if they want to get involved yeah okay so you can find me and chronic bus on

[00:22:40] Instagram we're at chronic bus co I'm at lily stairs lily with two L stairs like going up and down

[00:22:46] and then you can find me on LinkedIn and also a chronic bus on LinkedIn and we are actually

[00:22:53] going to be opening enrollment for a new cohort in the spring so please do apply we'd love to have

[00:23:02] you as as a member if you miss the spring enrollment we open again in the fall and we have a few cycles

[00:23:08] each year so we'd love to have you and I look forward to meeting you that's terrific now before I

[00:23:14] forget did you happen to bring tea with you today okay so I did but it's actually coffee not tea

[00:23:21] that's great so tell me about your mug or the types of coffee you drank well yeah okay I also love

[00:23:26] tea and typically I would not be drinking because an hour and afternoon and I don't typically

[00:23:31] drink coffee but like I said it's been a sprint this month so I am having a little bit more coffee than

[00:23:37] usual I got an espresso for Christmas and so is it a vanilla bean espresso nutness espresso it's

[00:23:45] delicious and I love it and this mug is I think it's courtesy of TJ Max commercials uh it looks

[00:23:53] like it was made like by a potter or something you know it's so beautiful and yet it has blue and

[00:23:59] white pretty flowers like that's what I said I should have said like it was the spaspoque like

[00:24:04] that I got when I was in Portugal it looks literally like someone from in Portugal made it so well

[00:24:10] that's my I am a big machinista so I do love my TJ Max and Marshalls for those who live in the area

[00:24:17] I love it yeah you gotta you gotta find those deals it's fantastic well Lily it was great to have

[00:24:23] you on the show today thanks for joining us and just being so generous with your wisdom and I'm

[00:24:29] so I'm just excited to follow your journey and where chronic boss collective goes goes thank you

[00:24:35] Grace and thank you for all that you do for women in health care because we need

[00:24:41] to elevate female voices and you have done a remarkable job with that for many years now

[00:24:47] and and you are an inspiration to me so thank you for all that you do now I'm tears in my eyes I love it

[00:24:53] I love it and now that we know that we're neighbors we are gonna have to get together for real T-M-I-R-L can't wait

[00:25:01] and thanks to you folks for joining us too check out the high two with Grace podcast website

[00:25:06] for more great guests like Lily today cheers cheers

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